fresh prince of ohio

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Posts by fresh prince of ohio

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  61

  Accepting my own mortality, and the naturalness of death - the final step in my JW recovery.

  by fresh prince of ohio in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for people who have a paralyzing fear of dying, to where it seems like it's this horrible, stalking monster, jwism is a powerful sedative.. but really, the idea of living forever, in human form, is nonsense.

  living forever isn't about living forever, it's about not dying.. death is natural.

  it can be painful, sudden, or both.

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  fresh prince of ohio

  It is no fun being me.
• 
  61

  Accepting my own mortality, and the naturalness of death - the final step in my JW recovery.

  by fresh prince of ohio in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for people who have a paralyzing fear of dying, to where it seems like it's this horrible, stalking monster, jwism is a powerful sedative.. but really, the idea of living forever, in human form, is nonsense.

  living forever isn't about living forever, it's about not dying.. death is natural.

  it can be painful, sudden, or both.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  fresh prince of ohio

  Well so much for all of that. The news stories about fukushima and the US debt have me right back into death-terror JW mind.
• 
  61

  Accepting my own mortality, and the naturalness of death - the final step in my JW recovery.

  by fresh prince of ohio in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for people who have a paralyzing fear of dying, to where it seems like it's this horrible, stalking monster, jwism is a powerful sedative.. but really, the idea of living forever, in human form, is nonsense.

  living forever isn't about living forever, it's about not dying.. death is natural.

  it can be painful, sudden, or both.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  fresh prince of ohio

  Greetings Bruja-del-sol from not-so-sunny Ohio USA! :) Glad to know you're living you're dream. I have anxiety and depression issues that greatly reduce my ability to enjoy life, unfortunately.

  I've been out of the JWs for 11+ years now, but as I stated in my opening comments, I'm still a JW in the way I view death and mortality, and until recently I wasn't fully aware of this. It was reading about the fear of intimacy, and learning about its close relationship to fear of death, that made me realize that I still have a lot of work to do in terms of getting JWism out of my system.
• 
  61

  Accepting my own mortality, and the naturalness of death - the final step in my JW recovery.

  by fresh prince of ohio in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for people who have a paralyzing fear of dying, to where it seems like it's this horrible, stalking monster, jwism is a powerful sedative.. but really, the idea of living forever, in human form, is nonsense.

  living forever isn't about living forever, it's about not dying.. death is natural.

  it can be painful, sudden, or both.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  fresh prince of ohio

  Apognophos, I certainly hope that a collapse of the US economy, such as what some, not even necessarily hysterical, voices are insisting is imminent. *sigh*, doesn't result in widespread starvation. It just frightens me to...well...death!

  Gypsy, I checked out Hitchens book on Amazon and I still think it might be just a little bit TOO brutal for me to endure right now. A blow-by-blow account of what it's like to die from cancer written by perhaps the most brutal essayist the world has known...I guess at one point he does a (again) brutal take-down that cherished inspirational Nietzsche aphorism 'what doesn't kill me makes me stronger'.

  Pterist, yes, the PROCESS is what makes it so frightening. Think of all the horrific ways that it could happen! *shudders*

  Band, I too was one of the (probably in the majority) of witnesses that felt that I wouldn't make it through the big A because of not having done enough to be pleasing and having secret sins and vices.

  Comatose, thanks for the kind words. The past two months have been the most difficult ones of emotionally of my entire life, by far (see my breakup guilt thread for the source of my extreme angst).

  Ucantnome, it may have been a function of my age (i was in my 20s during most of my time with the JWs) but I didn't really fear or hardly think about dying. The big A was too close.

  HBH, i may check out those people you mentioned. If I don't 'check out' first that is. Don't worry, i'm not in the active planning stages of doing anything. It's just something that I THINK about a lot. Because I think a lot. I think too damn much. And I do see a therapist.

  So they're playing that Geico commercial on TV with that melancholy Allman Brothers song (Midnight Rider). I don't oowwwwwwwnnnn the clothes i'm wearin', and the roooooooadddddd goes on forever...just kinda choked me up a little, not sure why.
• 
  61

  Accepting my own mortality, and the naturalness of death - the final step in my JW recovery.

  by fresh prince of ohio in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for people who have a paralyzing fear of dying, to where it seems like it's this horrible, stalking monster, jwism is a powerful sedative.. but really, the idea of living forever, in human form, is nonsense.

  living forever isn't about living forever, it's about not dying.. death is natural.

  it can be painful, sudden, or both.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  fresh prince of ohio

  prologos i read something once that indicated that, should humans fail, that it will be so devastating to the planet that the odds of another sentient species evolving would be quite small.

  rubadubdub,
• 
  61

  Accepting my own mortality, and the naturalness of death - the final step in my JW recovery.

  by fresh prince of ohio in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for people who have a paralyzing fear of dying, to where it seems like it's this horrible, stalking monster, jwism is a powerful sedative.. but really, the idea of living forever, in human form, is nonsense.

  living forever isn't about living forever, it's about not dying.. death is natural.

  it can be painful, sudden, or both.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  fresh prince of ohio

  The "great depression" bit...won't we starve? Here i go again....who will feed us? Will the elite feel any obligation to the starving masses should the economic system collapse?
• 
  92

  breakup guilt

  by fresh prince of ohio in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i recently broke up with my girlfriend of four years.. she is 40 years old, with health problems, financial problems, little family/friend support, and facing an uncertain future.

  i gave her some money.. the guilt i am experiencing right now is absolutely anguishing.

  she had very, very high hopes about our relationship and loved me very deeply.

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  fresh prince of ohio

  Lisa, I think she's actually doing that - letting it go into foreclosure and saving the money. But, here's the thing, and this is where the "she needs to take responsibility for herself" business breaks down. She simply isn't savvy enough to realize that she needs to stash away the savings somewhere OTHER than with the bank that holds the mortgage - either with another bank or in cold cash. Right now her savings account is with the same bank that holds the mortgage, which means the bank could possibly seize it in the event of a foreclosure.

  So i wanna tell her, look you need to open an account with another institution! But I can't - it's too crazy for me to try to get involved with her life, it just becomes so entangled and codependent and rescuing. But, from this situation, you can see that she needs help and guidance!
• 
  61

  Accepting my own mortality, and the naturalness of death - the final step in my JW recovery.

  by fresh prince of ohio in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for people who have a paralyzing fear of dying, to where it seems like it's this horrible, stalking monster, jwism is a powerful sedative.. but really, the idea of living forever, in human form, is nonsense.

  living forever isn't about living forever, it's about not dying.. death is natural.

  it can be painful, sudden, or both.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  fresh prince of ohio

  Gypsy Sam, I tried to read Hitchens once and found his writing too combative and difficult. I may give that book a try though.

  Julia yes...who wants to live forever? Not me. Like i said in the opening post, the JW living forever business is really about not dying, because when you think about living for trillions upon billions of trillions of years, it doesn't seem quite so appealing.

  Apognophos, what though if things don't turn out well in the long run? I'm not sure I want to live to see how it all plays out. It's the unknown, the uncertainty, that drive me crazy and make me desire a quick and painless way out.
• 
  92

  breakup guilt

  by fresh prince of ohio in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i recently broke up with my girlfriend of four years.. she is 40 years old, with health problems, financial problems, little family/friend support, and facing an uncertain future.

  i gave her some money.. the guilt i am experiencing right now is absolutely anguishing.

  she had very, very high hopes about our relationship and loved me very deeply.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  fresh prince of ohio

  Losingit I'm lying here awake at 5am worrying about her, as always.

  So I performed a little thought experiment: how would I feel if she was here beside me now? Relieved on one hand (she's okay!) but frustrated and resentful on the other (I'm trapped again!)
• 
  61

  Accepting my own mortality, and the naturalness of death - the final step in my JW recovery.

  by fresh prince of ohio in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for people who have a paralyzing fear of dying, to where it seems like it's this horrible, stalking monster, jwism is a powerful sedative.. but really, the idea of living forever, in human form, is nonsense.

  living forever isn't about living forever, it's about not dying.. death is natural.

  it can be painful, sudden, or both.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  fresh prince of ohio